Give Back to Your Community
Last week I discussed our 9th strategy to become the best version of yourself which was to practice self-compassion and forgiveness. This week I want to bring up the importance of living as a part of a community as well as an individual with particularity; a point we have touched on but not entirely drawn out up until now. To become the best version of yourself you have to look outside yourself and consider those under your influence who might benefit from your kindness.
Recognize That You Are Not Alone
In John Donn’s poem, No Man is an Island he makes the point that, as humans, we cannot escape the responsibility of being a part of mankind and “therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.” Many go through life shucking the hard work onto others and living under the delusion that their time is their own by right. However, chances are someone put work into raising you and gave their time and attention to make sure you made it to where you are. In reality, your time is never your own. You could pass away tomorrow, and all that time you thought you owned will mean nothing. How much more profitable would it be to spend today giving another person a happier tomorrow? You live in a community regardless, so what more obvious area is there to invest in?
As I’ve reiterated again and again, giving consideration to others doesn’t mean completely disregarding your own wants and needs. A happier healthier you is a you that is more prepared to pour into others. Don’t struggle through things alone unnecessarily and don’t let others struggle alone unnecessarily. Man is not made to be alone, and we have a responsibility to comfort those in need as well as to let ourselves be comforted. This is the essence of the Golden Rule.
Say Thank You
As you begin to give back to the community serving you, the first step you can take is to express gratitude. We live in a world that gives very little back to those who pour into it. Often a simple “thank you” means a lot. Practice the art of living in another person’s shoes. Recognize the struggles others must go through just to get out of bed in the morning let alone serve you with a smile or go above and beyond to make you happy. Thank your mom for raising you, thank the soldier for their protection, thank your waiter for the water they pour. Every expression of your thankfulness is an acknowledgment of the worth of others’ existence and effort. It’s a message, if a small one, that what their doing is worth doing. It is good that they exist, and it is good to exist with them.
If you have the time and resources, an act of service or a gift can mean even more than your words and can express gratitude in a whole new way. The point is to be thoughtful and to avoid being dismissive of the existence of others and all the ways their existence impacts yours. No man is an island.
Be Ready to Help
The less possessive of time we learn to become, the more content we will be. You have the opportunity to be a bright light in someone else’s life just by being available to listen, or work, or just sit. How many times have you been asked how you were with complete indifference? Be the person who cares and listens. Maybe even do something to help. It’s a lot more difficult to ask for help than to accept it when it’s offered freely and immediately. Be the person who doesn’t wait to be asked. Living in a posture of servitude will quiet your worries for yourself.
I suppose we all might have a different idea of what being “the best version of you” means. To me, it doesn’t mean being the best version of you for you… Your success can’t be the goal or it will never be attained to your satisfaction. We are the worst at knowing what is best for us. Instead, we should focus on what is best for others and let ourselves be shaped by kindness, care, and a deep understanding of others. So be ready and be available.
Practice Hospitality
One of the main and often most profitable ways to serve others is as simple as inviting them into your space and filling their bellies. Make your home a safe space for conversation, laughter, and tears, and watch it become that for you as well. And if you can’t get people into your home then go to them. Look for ways to serve—volunteer at your local homeless shelter or soup kitchen, till the ground at your community garden, or bring a casserole to that struggling family down the street. These are ways, not only to practice gratitude for all you have when others must make do with much less, but to treat others as you would hope for others to treat you, were you in their place.
Conclusion
These efforts to give back to your community should be directed at strangers and people close to you alike. Indeed, you should be especially focused on giving back to those who gave to you directly. Seek out and remember these people, your friends and family, extend gratitude, offer help, and welcome them in as they have and will do for you. Practice thanksgiving for the community that homes you and supports you directly and indirectly and feel joy and fellowship permeate you and shape you into the best version of you.
