How to Be a Mentor
Winston Churchill famously said, “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” Everyone, no matter their current lot in life, can and should benefit from the guidance of a mentor. Mentors can help us to grow, both in specific skills and as people in general. They have experienced the highs and lows of life. They know what it’s like both to succeed and to fail. But beyond their mastery of a skill or greater life experience, the most valuable service of the mentor is to walk through life with you.
But at a certain point of life, you will be faced with a choice: am I willing to give back to others? Most of us, if we are honest, have confronted that very question already. We have been given so much—we have been blessed with people who love us and unexpected opportunities to learn and grow. When and how will we pour back into others the way others have poured into us?
In this post, I will first try to answer the question of whether you should become a mentor. Then I will discuss some of the things I think everyone should think about as they are looking to mentor other people.
Why You Should be a Mentor
Most people, if they are honest, wonder whether they are even qualified to be a mentor. When most people think of the idea of a mentor, they likely imagine someone who is older and has had more life and work experience.
But I’ll let you in on a little secret: even experienced mentors often feel inadequate. Many of the greatest minds and the most successful people have suffered from imposter syndrome, believing that they are not always truly up to the task. And yet, it is this very ambitious dissatisfaction that drives a person to grow and improve. If you are unsure whether you are ready to be a mentor to someone else, then it may well be that you are exactly the right kind of person to be a mentor. And at the end of the day, this is because you have begun to develop the virtue of humility.
The Qualities of a Mentor
A mentor is not necessarily an expert. In many cases, they are just someone who is a step or two further along the path than their mentee. In fact, the most successful mentors will themselves have mentors who are pouring into them. And all of this points to the most important character quality for a mentor to have: humility. Humility is necessary for both the mentor and the mentee because humility is the starting point for any successful relationship. The humble mentor will not position themselves as an infallible dispenser of wisdom. Rather, they will see themselves as they truly are—people who are still on the journey. Humility enables a mentor to truly accompany their mentee through all of life’s joys and challenges.
From a posture of humility, a mentor can and should act with confidence. Mentors have the responsibility of helping and guiding their mentee. As a mentor, you should be willing to trust in your instincts and life experiences. While there will be times that call for more listening, your mentee will almost certainly want to receive your input. Don’t cave to imposter syndrome—speak to your mentee openly, honestly, and decisively.
Finally, a mentor should be always looking to learn. A person can only give to others when they have something to give. A mentor always should be seeking out more wisdom. With this fuel, they will be better equipped to help others by walking alongside them. And that, after all, is what mentoring is about.
